“The more confident that you are, the more quiet you become”.
When we think of confidence, we often picture someone loud and outgoing. Someone who is the life of the party with his silver tongue and infectious energy. However, as I’ve matured, I’ve uncovered the truth that confidence is not necessarily the same thing as being extroverted.
Perhaps you’ve already known terms like “quiet living“, “quiet luxury”, or even “quiet quitting”. But, have you ever heard of “quiet confidence“?
This blog post is my take on this interesting term. We’ll check out what makes those quietly confident folks so remarkable and, more importantly, how to cultivate that stable, deep-down sense of confidence yourself.
Hooked? Let’s get into it!
Table of Contents
So, What Is Quiet Confidence?
Have you ever noticed someone calm and unassuming yet somehow able to command respect without trying?
Quiet confidence, simply put, is a sense of inner strength and silent self-assuredness – about yourself, your looks, skills, or knowledge. People with quiet confidence can just be themselves without feeling the need to speak up or prove themselves to others constantly. They’re comfortable in their own skin and don’t easily get swayed by outside opinions or pressure. They have a strong sense of self-worth.
In a nutshell, the real confidence does not come from boasting or showing off.
It does not come from what skills you have or how good you are at something.
It does not come from how effectively or productively you do your work.
It also does not come from being recognised by those around you.
Quiet confidence is about how you see and believe in yourself.
I think many of us fall into the trap of either undervaluing or overvaluing ourselves. Those who overvalue themselves try too hard for attention, while those undervalue stay too meek to claim the spotlight they deserve. Quiet confidence is about naturally showcasing your capabilities in a graceful, respect-commanding way.
7 Traits of People With Quiet Confidence
True confidence isn’t about boasting skills and achievements, though that may grab attention. No matter how hard you try, you’ll eventually fail without believing in your abilities. Confidence doesn’t stem from accomplishments; instead, it’s the other way around. It silently lives in the hearts of those who believe they can.
Here are 7 standout traits of those who possess quiet confidence:
You’re Not Afraid to Say “I Don’t Know”
I thought I had to always seem knowledgeable and have all the answers when I was young. Whether at work or just in casual conversations with friends, I felt pressured to always have a response. I thought admitting ignorance would make me seem less valuable.
But gradually, the vastness of knowledge and limits of my abilities made me accept: I can’t possibly know everything. So the next time I’m asked something I don’t know, I take a deep breath and say “I don’t know, but I can find out.” The fear of being judged was liberated.
I believe the willingness to admit that you don’t have all the answers shows self-awareness, humility, and a desire to learn – all signs of quiet confidence.
You Don’t Lose Easily Your Temper
Those with quiet confidence remain calm when things don’t go as planned. You don’t quickly get flustered or irritated, even when curveballs get thrown your way.
Because you trust yourself and your abilities, you know any challenging situations are well within your capacities. No hurdle feels unconquerable. You welcome setbacks or failures, understanding that everything happens for a reason, and you can learn from troubles once you work through them.
You Don’t Seek Validation from Others
Quietly confident individuals don’t seek validation from others. They find it within themselves. They understand their self-worth isn’t contingent on mass acceptance or approval. Instead, it is built steadily through personal growth, self-awareness, and resilience.
You See the Good in Others and Don’t Let Jealousy Control You
Jealousy is for those lacking belief in their own capabilities. The quietly confident don’t let their minds be ruled by jealousy and insecurity. Completely at peace with themselves, they’re happy to see others succeed. They don’t need to compete to feel comfortable. Essentially, they just know their worth!
You Know How to Take Good Care of Yourself
Quiet confidence increases when we feel better about ourselves. To feel better, prioritizing physical and mental self-care is key.
You’ll feel better when you take time for self-care by getting enough sleep, nourishing your body, and setting boundaries with things like your time and energy. You’ll be less stressed, and your overall well-being will improve. Self-care nourishes you from the inside out. The better we feel, the more that quiet inner confidence radiates outwards.
You’re Not Afraid to Show Vulnerability
I used to believe showing any vulnerability was a sign of weakness.
But over time, I learned that strength and vulnerability don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
When you’re courageous enough to be more open about your struggles and insecurities, you’re steadily building quiet confidence.
The most confident people I know aren’t afraid to show their human sides, vulnerabilities included.
They own up to their fears, admit when they’re hurt, and bravely ask for help. They know that being vulnerable doesn’t make them weak. It makes them more human.
A Growth Mindset: Willingness to Take Risks or Try New Things
Staying in your comfort zone is the easier choice. But it won’t help you grow.
A confident person is curious about life and willing to try new things.
Having quiet confidence means you know where you are, understand you’re a work-in-progress, and you’re okay with that. You see each day as an opportunity to learn something new, to improve and evolve. You’re willing to take risks and embrace constructive criticism. You welcome it because it helps you get better.
This commitment to personal growth shows you’re confident enough to acknowledge there’s always room for improvement.
How to Build Quiet Confidence (8+ Steps)
Realise You Are Enough
One of the biggest issues that undermines most people’s confidence and sense of self-worth is constantly seeking validation from others. However, these are unstable foundations upon which to build.
If your confidence comes from external sources, it only takes one disapproving gesture or opinion to make your inner tower crumble, leaving you feeling completely worthless and doubtful of yourself.
Instead of looking for outside affirmation, focus on your natural self-value. You can’t control how others think or act, but you can control how you respond to them. Live authentically, act according to your beliefs, and respect yourself. That’s all you need to become a whole, happy person.
Whether the outside world loves, likes or hates you, whatever happens to you, remember that you are enough.
But Don’t Forget to Keep Improving Yourself Day by Day
You’re not perfect, and that’s totally okay! The journey to becoming the best version of yourself requires daily effort. Start by trying to get 1% better than you were yesterday.
Pick a field you feel needs work and make a long-term plan to improve it. Set achievable goals for yourself and work towards them.
Talk Less, Do More
Honestly, this is so hard. Talking about goals is easier said than done. I know sharing magnificent plans or goals provides a cheap dopamine hit. You’ll surely get some initial praise and attention from friends and family.
But then, what if you don’t follow through with action?
I believe getting into the habit of talking less and doing more is a great way to build quiet confidence.
Because the fact is, if you’re doing more, your actions and results will speak louder than your words. And since you’re working quietly, you’ll be more focused on the task at hand – an experience of flow state, rather than constantly looking outwards for encouragement.
Celebrate Yourself
Confidence is about trusting and valuing yourself. When you achieve a goal, learn a new skill, or receive positive feedback, celebrate that win.
The quietly confident may not boast everywhere, but they’ll treat themselves after small victories and share the joy with their supporters.
The next time you feel proud of yourself, take a moment to savour that feeling. Look in the mirror and give yourself words of encouragement like “Well done! You did it!”.
Embrace Your Flaws
Instead of hiding the imperfect parts of yourself, accept your flaws and allow them to add character. Recognize that everyone has shortcomings, and acknowledging yours can make you more approachable and endearing. Cherish your quirks and qualities instead of striving for an idealized version of yourself. This will not only build your self-assurance but create an environment where others feel comfortable around you.
Listen More Than You Speak
The world seems obsessed with constant chatter. But talking too much completely defeats the purpose of quiet confidence.
By actively listening, you allow yourself to learn. You find out what others are doing, understand different perspectives, and gather deep insights. From there, you can offer thoughtful viewpoints on many issues.
The trick is knowing when to speak and when to listen. I have a simple rule: Only speaking up or offering advice when someone directly asks me to. Otherwise, I just listen.
Set Your Boundaries and Respect Others
Let’s understand the importance of setting boundaries. You know that saying ‘No’ doesn’t make you selfish or unkind. It keeps you honest about your limits. And you respect that in others, too.
You don’t disturb people’s personal space or demand their time and energy without their consent. You give and receive with equal respect.
Your grasp of your own personal boundaries and others’ speaks volumes about your quiet confidence.
Travel More…
Sounds unrelated, but…
It works!
Travelling (especially solo travel) builds confidence and maturity. It’s truly one of the most effective ways to become more self-assured.
It’s also the most fun way, I swear.
You can start with short trips to nearby towns or exploring new areas in your city. Then, you can expand to weekend getaways and domestic and international travel.
Travel fosters gradually quiet confidence by broadening your perspective, knowledge of the world and different cultures and building inner strength and survival instincts.
Be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and explore the world. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve!
The Lasting Word
“Confidence is quiet, and insecurities are loud.”
I love this quote.
Of course, not everyone who is quiet is confident, just as not all quiet people are shy.
But to me, true confidence manifests itself most clearly in quietness.
It doesn’t come from noise or thrusting yourself onto a flashy stage with the crowds. Because you know this: People who are insecure or unsure of themselves tend to be louder and more noticeable. In contrast, people confident in themselves and their abilities are often quieter and more understated. They know who they are and what they’re capable of and don’t need to seek validation from others frequently. Their actions speak volumes: quietly achieving goals or expressing opinions calmly, without needing to argue or defend themselves.
I must admit that the path to quiet confidence is not an easy one, and I’m still on my own journey. It’s a long journey of seeking your self-worth, marked by inner strength, determination, and steadfast belief in your capabilities.
May you soon feel comfortable in your own quiet presence.
May you not need to control anything.
May you make mistakes and simply ask yourself, what can I learn from this and with this setback, how can I turn it into something beautiful? With no judgment of yourself or others.
May you soon discover your own inner confidence.
Jasmine.
☕Head to The Quieter for more insightful articles and inspiring stories on mindful living, personal growth and relationships to nurture your mind and soul.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does quite confident mean?
Quiet confidence is a sense of inner strength and silent self-assuredness – about yourself, your looks, skills, or knowledge. People with quiet confidence can just be themselves without feeling the need to constantly speak up or prove themselves to others.
What is the power of quiet confidence?
Quiet confidence is the power of believing in yourself without needing to brag. It shows in your actions and calmness, letting you be yourself and achieve your goals with inner strength and authenticity. This quiet power earns you respect and lets you focus on what matters. What makes it more, as you obtain calm self-esteem, others will notice it and you will acquire their admiration naturally. Rather than saying something, you leave it to actions to do the talking for you.
